Why Bother?

He has put a new song in my mouth—
Praise to our God;
Many will see it and fear,
And will trust in the LORD.

Blessed is that man who makes the LORD his trust (Psalm 40:3, 4a)

A week or so again, our pastor asked an important question while teaching on the necessity of discipleship. He asked: why bother?

I have to admit there were lots of other people there that night that had great answers, but one answer kept coming back to me again and again. And that was the answer Peter gave so many years ago: “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life." (John 6:68)

You see, I wasn't raised a Christian, nor did I find Jesus early on, but instead I came to know the biblical Jesus after I had lived for a bit. And, unlike some amazing stories others tell, my life without Jesus was actually a pretty good life. I was honest--to the point my brother teased me about it--I was moral, I didn't drink excessively (very often anyway), I didn't do drugs, I held down a good job, was a responsible and loving mom to my kids, and in short really did most things the world considers "good."

And, I lived my life for myself: I did what seemed right to me, charted my own course, and was more or less successful in the things that our culture values. I had a good job, a decent marriage, good kids, and was a good person.

But, inside I knew there were some "issues." And, even worse I didn't have any answers for these issues. I knew, for instance, that I lost my tempers at my kids far too often. I knew that my marriage had some pretty serious fissures, and that I was at least partly to blame. I knew that despite being "too honest," that I wasn't completely honest all the time. I also knew that there was a lot of discontent inside me about my job, about my home, and about my life. And, even worse I didn't have a clue how to go about changing me to correct those things.

So, when I came to know Jesus, it was after living my own life, after being master of my own destiny, and after having the success and accolades of the world, and realizing that those things really and truly left me empty. And, so when God came looking for me I knew that "I" didn't have the answers. I truly couldn't fix me, and I surely couldn't fix anyone else.

And, I quickly found out that He could! And, He did--since coming to know Him, those things I mentioned above really aren't issues anymore. Oh, I'm not perfect by any means--He's still working on me. But, He's changed so much in my life and filled me with His joy and His contentment, and His love. My marriage relationship has changed. My relationship with my children has changed. I am more contented and more joyful. And, those other issues that bothered me so badly before, really aren't issues at all anymore.

And, so with the Psalmist I just have to shout out His praises! For you see, I didn't make those changes--Jesus did! And, so my answer to my pastor's question of "why bother?" is how could I not? Like Peter, I too know that Jesus holds the words to, not only my eternity, but also to the joyful and fulfilled life now!

Washed clean and pure!

I admit it I'm a desert girl. I've lived all over the country now, and at various elevations, and climates, and loved them all, but deep down inside I love the desert. And, days like today are why.

You see, we've been experiencing a drought for some time now here in the Phoenix area. I've been working in the yard quite a bit and can vouch for how dry everything is--the dust is thick on the trees, and everything is dead, or more accurately dormant--which is what desert plants do when there's no water. When I break off the dead limbs on the trees they shower me with grit. The cactus are shriveling. The desert looks gray, lifeless, and dead. The animals too are suffering, they've stooped to actually gnawing on cactus limbs to get some moisture and nutrition. We've had only two rain storms, and maybe a grand total of an inch of rain since I've been here in May. Did I mention that our well also went dry? It's been dry, dry, dry!

The last two days however, have been rainy. And, not just rainy but a slow, steady rain--the kind of rain that really sinks in and replenishes the earth. And, this morning, in the midst of a break in the storms I went outside to sunny skies and a wet, wet desert. It's glorious how the rain has taken that dry, dead desert and washed it so marvelously clean! The air literally tingles with the cleanness of it, the freshness of cleanliness as all the dust is washed back into the ground, and nourishing water is now allowed to wet the roots, the leaves, the stems, even the cactus needles and clean away all the grime of drought and put all that dirt right back where it should be in the ground. You can almost see the desert greening up and coming to life again right before my very eyes.

And, as I revel in the fresh, clean air, I'm reminded that is just what Jesus does for me every day if I let Him. He takes His blood and cleanses away all the grime and all the accumulated dust and nourishes my dry roots bringing new life and new joy--a new greenness if you will. And, when I see that--really see that I too tingle with excitement over what He's doing. It's simply marvelous!

I can remember a time that I didn't know Jesus. My life was a lot like the desert--dead, dry, gray, lifeless. But, then Jesus came in and brought life again and I was like the desert after a rain, full of life, washed clean, ready to take on any challenges, alive, really and truly alive for the first time in my life.

I know that most of the country is covered with snow, and many of you can't imagine a desert brought to life again by a few inches of rain. But, if you've ever seen it, I hope you'll also see what Jesus can do for your life--He's done it for me, and like the desert I'm tingling about now. Thank you Lord Jesus!

Healing, the Holy Spirit, and power from on high

I got a Kindle for Christmas and am loving it. With that I bought several new books (Thanks Joe for the gift card from Amazon) and have been loving those too. One of those is Andrew Murray's book called "The Full Blessing of Pentecost." I'm a Andrew Murray fan from way back but had no idea he had a book that touched on this subject. It's been very inspiring to say the least.

I mentioned in my last posts my awe really about the idea that God could/would use His people to heal others, ending it by questioning could He use me. And, the answer is that if He does indeed use His people, He certainly could use me. That's certainly an awe inspiring thought.

The thing is I think that we all too often limit God. We say things like "He couldn't (or wouldn't) work in this way," as if He weren't really omnipotent (all-powerful). Think about that for a moment--by it's definition a being who is omnipotent could do anything He wanted to and in any way.

One thing is for sure, my ideas about God have been blown wide-open, and suddenly the possibilities are endless. Truly an all-powerful God could empower His believers to do miraculous things. And, like I asked in my last post, could He empower me?--the answer is of course He could, but would he? Well, that's another thing altogether.

Yesterday Steve woke up, had devotions, went for a walk, and while showering afterwards God spoke quite clearly to him about teaching high school English in Gallup. Well, it was such a strong impression he called the high school only to find that they'd just posted an opening for a English teacher. Again it seemed like God was very clearly leading this way so he got in the car and went to Gallup. However, this morning when he finally made contact with the principal, who was sick yesterday, he found they'd already filled that position. Which leads us to wonder just what is God up to? Could He have used that impression on Steve's mind--and the miraculous about it--to get him up to Gallup? Is He still going to be teaching high school English? (His degree is not secondary ed. btw).

So, we're praying about it, and wondering just what it is God has for us. And, while we're at it, learning some more about how He works--while we look for the miraculous. 'Cause He certainly could do a miracle.

Divine Healing?

So, I'm reading two different books about God working through people to heal other people, or the gift of healing. And, honestly I'm not sure what I think about that--Oh, I've always believed that God does and can heal--and that He heals who He wills for whatever reason He chooses. But, to say that there's people out there that God works through to open the eyes of blind, to unstop deaf ears, to make maimed limbs straight, that's a bit of a leap for me. But, that's just what these people testify that God is and has done through them, or others they've known.

And, unlike other accounts I've read before all glory seems to be given to God, and not to the one being used. Sounds a whole lot like what I read about in the New Testament--Jesus healing the blind, Peter causing the lame to leap, Paul casting out devils and more. So, is it possible? Is it true?

And, I guess most importantly could God use me in this way? (Whether He chooses to or not is something altogether different, but could He use me in this way?)

Peace and Joy--the real stuff!

Today I sense God speaking to me--speaking peace, speaking joy, speaking to me that He's here, and is working in my life in a very real way. There's been so many changes in my life here lately that peace and joy aren't exactly the words I'd use to describe things, but it's just what God's doing. Interesting, that He works that way.

What's more interesting I suppose is that I'm surprised by that. I think somehow that confusion, frustration, and even anger are the normal feelings that I should have as a Christian. That's what should be interesting, not that I'm surprised by what God does when He does what He says He will. I guess that means I'm still learning.

And, so on this second day of the new year, I just want to praise His holy name! He is the Lord God Almighty, the King of kings, the Prince of peace, the Almighty God, and yet He deigns to be the Lover of my soul, my Savior, and my Messiah. And, you know what? All honor, and glory, and power are His because He did it--not me. . . remember me? I'm the one who thinks that frustration and fear, and confusion are normal. So, it's truly all about Him, and not at all about me. Praise God.

Isn't that like our God?

So, this Tuesday I was driving up to Salt Lake City to check out a opportunity of a place to stay (and work). As I drove I drove the same route we drove in June when we went up for vacation, and at one point in the trip there's an area that in June we all commented on how ugly it looked because the area had ben burned in a forest fire. I'm sure you've seen areas like that--burned out, black, dead, with skeletons standing, but other than that not too much vegetation.

Well, interesting enough this time when I drove through I noticed that instead of just ugly dead, dry skeletons, in it's place were the most beautiful fall colors--reds, golds, yellows, well you know. And, the thought crossed my mind that isn't that just like our God? To take something that's totally burned out, used up, and wasted, and make it the most beautiful spot in the forest?

And, doesn't He do that with our lives too? Doesn't He specialize even in taking our lives when they're the most messed up--when they're dry, dead, skeletons and make something beautiful out of them--and not just beautiful, but amazingly beautiful.

I'm banking on that fact, are you?

Aren't you glad you're not Mary?

Can you imagine being Mary the mother of Jesus? Remember that Jesus, while being 100% God, was also 100% human yet without sin. And, it's that without sin part I'm talking about.

Imagine you're Mary and Jesus is a toddler. You're sitting down in your kitchen taking a break with some good friends, and you start complaining because you were up all night with Jesus who had an earache. And, your friend is sympathizing because she too has been there, done that. And, so she, like we women do, shares her story, she says, "I know just what you mean, I was so mad at little Zach last week. I've told him a thousand times to stay out of the donkey trail running through town, and yet Wednesday I look out the window and there he is standing in the middle of the trail, he would have gotten run over if it weren't for our big black dog that was standing there barking at all the donkeys! I just get so exasperated with that child. It seems like he spends his life not obeying me."

And, another friend chimes in, "yeah, I can so relate! Little Sarah is into everything! Yesterday she had my makeup out all over my bedroom. I spent HOURS cleaning everything up. She was kind of cute though with lipstick on her nose, and eye shadow clear up to her hairline. Of course I had to punish her so she'd know that was naughty, but I was hiding a smile while I did it. "

And yet another friend chimes in, "last week my Ezekiel got sent home from his Sabbath classes because he said a bad word! I have no idea where he heard that! I had to wash his mouth out with soap and then he was spitting soap bubbles for hours! It was kind of funny though."

And, on and on your friends go, and you realize, like Mary did (scriptures say she pondered these things in her heart) that you really don't have any "naughty" tales to tell about Jesus. In fact, the very thing you were complaining about has nothing to do with being bad--but instead being in pain--being miserable. And, you realize that the "sin" was indeed yours for being impatient with his pain.

And, as Jesus grows a bit and is now in school, you're gathered around the well getting water for your family and chatting with another group of friends and you hear, "John got in trouble at school because he made Mary cry by pulling her hair. I don't know what I'll do with that child. He's always getting his name on the board at school!" And as they always do, someone else chimes in, "I'm so frustrated with Zebediah, I tell him every single day to make his bed before school, and then the one day I forget to remind him he doesn't make it! Will this child ever learn to be responsible and obey me?" And, yet another jumps into the conversation, "yes, I think my Rhonda will be grounded until she's 35! She just can't seem to stay out of trouble!"

And, again Mary's left thinking about Jesus and realizing she has no stories to tell. Jesus is instead always nice to his classmates, and always obedient to whatever she tells him to do, and he's kind and gentle with his siblings (about whom she could tell tales and has to resist the urge to compare them always with their older brother)! And Mary reflects on her own attitude just last night when she was grumpy with Jesus' little sister and yelled at Him instead, and He didn't even get mad at her, but instead just gave her a hug and went to bed quietly like she had told him to.

And when Jesus is a teen Mary's out at her grinding stone grinding corn with the other ladies in the town square, and the ladies are again talking about their teenagers. "I caught Jacob trying to watch our neighbor girl bathe the other day! I was so upset with him! Can you believe it?" After commiserating for awhile and sharing about this situation, another friend mentions, "I'm struggling with Betty too. She has the biggest crush on a Roman soldier--can you imagine? He's too old for her and he's NOT Jewish. But, she sneaks out nights while we're sleeping and talks with him! We really don't know what we're going to do about her." And once again Mary reflects on how Jesus is helpful with the younger children, how He doesn't seem to do anything improper with regards to girls, and is always obedient. And once again she becomes convicted of her behavior just this morning towards Jesus when she jumped down his throat for spending time in the Torah when she thought he should be out enjoying the sunshine.

Can you imagine? Can you imagine having a child who never, ever sinned? A child who was never arrogant, or selfish, or rebellious? I sure can't. But then again I've never had a child who was God--God made flesh.

I imagine though it was a bit hard for Mary. I imagine too it might have pointed out her own sinfulness when she was impatient with Jesus, or when she was cranky and he never, ever responded with anger to her. Can you imagine being the mother of God? I sure can't. Mary though lived it every day.